Life is not a straight road drive, it is filled with ups and downs. Some of these lows are laid by our own insecurities, and so it is important to learn how to deal with these.
A quick guide on how to tackle insecurities by a survivor
The first step to every solution is accepting that you have a problem. Insecurities are an integral part of our lives. You can run from it but you can’t deny this fact. There is no person on the planet who is supremely confident about his abilities and doesn’t doubt himself when times are testing.
“Shaayad mujhse nahi ho paega” is the first step towards accepting the fact that we are indeed humans and it is okay to feel doubtful about ourselves.
Acceptance comes with a heavy price. Now you are in a place that altogether doesn’t feel right and the only person who can save you from that is “You”. Yes, it might be the time to take out your old Superman cape you tucked deep inside the closet and be your own hero and save your own day.
Nobody knows you better than you do and nobody can and will be a better friend to you than the man in the mirror. You are at your strongest when you are relying on yourself.
You might be insecure about your work abilities. You might be insecure about your social image. You might be insecure about your relationship and confused at where is it all going. If you sum it all up, it does feel like a really heavy burden on your chest right?
Insecurities cluster together into this humongous summit in front of you that seems almost impossible to scale. Dividing up your issues and facing them one-on-one is the most appropriate solution to tackling them.
Start with the most basic of steps. Take out the old notepad and jot down everything in your life that makes you feel weak. When you are done, start working on the most immediate issue on hand, that can’t wait. For a moment, forget about everything else. Just concentrate on this single problem. Trying to do it all at once won’t just be extremely difficult. When it won’t work, it might make you hopeless.
Dividing the problems makes it easier to see the underlying issues and taking them on, one at a time. If it was a work-related issue, now you can focus on it with your undivided attention, without having to worry about the social gathering you are going to in the evening. Focus on the “now” and when you’re done move onto the next one.
Building confidence is not about telling yourself “You can do it”. At times, it won’t even work. You have to let yourself feel your worth and the easiest way of doing it is tasting success. And by success, I don’t mean your typical glass-screen office and the Porsche sitting by your garage. Remember, trying to learn bicycle on trainers? How happy it made you when you stopped leaning on your right side and made it with your rear wheel for about 5 seconds??
Achieving little by little and taking pride in it is essential towards building confidence.
Remember, one step at a time.
Now the most important thing of all– baby steps.
Sounds cheesy, right? It isn’t. Baby steps are a powerful way of tackling insecurities. They fundamentally mean taking little steps and solving little issues before you take on the real, big problem. If you’re learning the guitar, you start with the easiest E minor chord, before moving on to the bar chords. And that too, doesn’t happen in a day. It takes months of practice and hard work. You have got to work towards your problems in the same way– taking baby steps.
Building confidence and gearing up your skills is all well. But sometimes, life won’t give you a choice to mend things and at that time, letting go of the problem is vital.
If you believe you absolutely can’t work it out and it is killing you- might as well let it be.
Sometimes our insecurities are related to other people around us, people we love and care about. Now you can work on issues that concern you but you can’t necessarily change what concerns other people too. It’s difficult and stressful and at times will make you feel dejected since you don’t have any control over it.
Leaving behind a problem is not running from it.
Not everything is fixable and you can’t get beat up, trying to work it out. If it affects your mental health and nothing is helping, it has to go.
Reaching out and sharing these issues with your friends and families is vital and helpful. Trying to take everything on alone might take a turn for the worse and insecurities turn into complexes. Share your issues with people who care and don’t be shy to ask for help. Take some time out and appreciate all that you have done till now and stay hopeful for all that’s coming.
You are amazing, you are one of a kind and you will be all right!!