Now that all of our life is achanak se becoming totally dependent on phones, here are some unwritten rules of phone etiquette with friends.
- If your friend comes to you with “Bhai!!! kaaaand ho gaya aaj toh!” all your other priorities must fall to ground cuz woh abhi sabse zyada important hai and usse full, maxxx undivided attention chaiye phone pe
- Know your missed calls:
1 call matlab: yaad aa rahi hai
2 calls matlab: urgent hai utha
3 calls matlab: life & death situation
4 calls matlab: crush replied, what do I reply back, PHONE UTHA.
- If a friend is going through a breakup or rejection, you have to call them at least once a day until they stop saying “yaar yaad aa rahi hai” and maybe give 2-3 pure gaaliyan when they say “text kardu?”
- On some days, your friend doesn’t need conversations, they just need your presence, you should be comfortable with silence over phone. Talk-time without talking. Just doing our work while being on phone. Also, yeh phone “conversation” hai. Monologue nahi. Give your friend an opportunity to say more than “hmm. haan… achha.. hmm”
- Joh sabse pehle goodnight bola voh next day call karega. Khatam baat (unless you hot tea to spill, in which case besharam hoke call karo)
- Yeh “chal theek hai cool *hangs up*” kya hota hai? this is not how you end a conversation. Achhe se, pyaar se “Bye, goodnight, love you, chal fuck off now ” bolo.
- Agar mera talk-time with you is not 3 more than your second bff Sneha’s talk-time with you, by god, maine na kabhi baat hi nahi karni hai.
- Agar maine 3 times call kar liya hai ek week mei toh ab it’s your responsibility to call. Sorry, it’s a rule.
Make sure to follow these rules and to call back your friend after kal ka goodnight message !!