Adulting is all fun and stuff but when it comes to living alone there are way too many things we discover and a wave of struggles we go through in the beginning.
Cooking by yourself?????
Khud ke liye khana banana is super fun and adultish….. for a week. But then you realize cooking is a forever responsibility to keep yourself alive and holy shit who made this rule? I just wanna talk. You realize how much hard work it is make ghar ka healthy khaana for yourself and miss your mummy ka haath ka khaana that you for granted and you just wanna cry “mujhey nahi karna adult aur pls”. Besides, ek insaan ke liye cook karna just seems like a waste of effort to me. Karu toh kya karu? aasauon se pet bhar ke sojau?
“Hello swiggy bhaiya”
Technically speaking, eating and cooking at home is very cheap, but jaisa ki pichhli tippani ne establish kiya, we’re gonna order-in, anyway. ‘I live alone, how much can I spend on groceries and food?’ alternates between being a genuine question to being a challenge as the calendar gets closer to agle mahine ki 1st. I spend all my money on food and going out, and considering being a foodie doesn’t help, tab pta lagta hai haathon ki mail hai paisa. Swiggy bhaiya, mai. gareeb hun!
You can’t watch horror films
You can’t watch Horror films anymore. You just can’t. I mean, I don’t get scared easy all, but I know if I watch a horror movie or read Saturday Night Horror Stories, literally any kind of noise at night will result into me instantly getting bhagwaan ko pyaari. ALSO friends who video call you at night and say “oye tere piche kaun hai? I think I saw someone should be sent to jail. PERIOD.
Falling sick, staying sick
Bimaari mein Humpty Dumpty ban jaate hain akele rehne waale, all the kings horses and all the king’s men, cannot put your life together again. It’s a fact that taking care of yourself is even more difficult when you don’t even want to get up. Bimar ho toh koi call ya video call nahi kaam aati, all you want is someone to make you soup, answer the doorbell and tell you “you’ll be ok.” But no, suffer in silence scenes ho jaate hai akele.
ALL bills are all on you????
Attack nahi hai, darna nahi. It’s just that there is no one else to share responsibility for the lights you never switched off. Parents saying “kitni bijli waste karte ho, paise pedh pe ugte hain?” finally hits on another level (not that usse koi change aane wala hai). You constantly try to save money here and there on small things as if that kanjoosi will make a difference. The ship has sailed. You’re in this adulthood shit too deep now.
Everyone finds it comfortable
That’s kinda good but gets worn out after a point. Because you live alone, people don’t understand your personal space. Jaate hi nahi, yaar, it’s so annoying at times. And no, you cannot crash here with alcohol on Saturday evening just because I live alone??? Sometimes I just want to watch shows and sleep at 9 pm and kabhi kabhi I want to stay up all night and listen to Kishore da ke gaane without someone hogging my speaker. Meri space hai bhai. Free real estate nahi hai.
Laundry piles hi laundry piles
The task that makes you go from “I have nothing to wear” to “Itne kapde kyu khareede hain maine?” in seconds. Whether or not you use a washing machine, soggy kapde uthaana kisi ko pasand nahi. Common areas for drying clothes suck even more, kyunki sabko ussi dinn sukhane honge when you finally get time to wash them. What is this adulting and how can I skip it??????
You don’t know what’s too much
While traveling or moving places, we realize kitna faltu saman rakha hua hai. Furniture that looks pretty, things jo “kaam aayengi” (we all know how true that is), and all the unnecessary complimentary things in the world, we are the hoggers. Plus, moving is a hassle itself, doing it yourself is only an additional botheration. Even if you have someone to help you, saamaan toh tumhara hi hai na? Kam se kam 3 mahine puraane Domino’s ke oregano packets ke bare mein toh thodi guilt feel karo.
Handling the landlord
Roommate/ flatmate ke bina landlords ko handle karna atyant sar dard hai. “Kal rent pakka” se chauthi baar phone finally uthane par “motor on kardo aunty tak, sab kuchh khud karna padhta hai. Upar se saare repairs tumhare palle hain, toh jab aao aur jao, poori upar se neeche character judgement hoti hai. Regardless of how many years you stay, jaane se pehle saare pankhe chala ke dekhenge.