Earth Mummy is angry because of our actions and please read what she has to say before she throws another disaster our way to open our eyes.
Iss planet pe saare kaam mujhe hi karne padte hai. But you kids are still such a disappointment, intergalactic PTA meeting pe Kya muh dikhaun mei? Haan?
I’m very angry with you hence the cyclones and earthquakes. And you jahil people still don’t understand the point that I’m trying to make and set an elephant up in flames. Kya kammi reh gayi thi meri parwarish mei?
I send you all into a lockdown, which is my way of saying “go stand in the corner and think about what you’ve done” and you still don’t listen?! I’m sure Mrs. Mars ke bacche unhe aise tang nahi karte honge.
Vaddee efforts toh tumse hone nahi, but at least ye chhote changes toh kar sakte ho apne lifestyle mei.
Here are some of the low-effort ways by which you can actually help the environment as instructed by our one and only Earth Mummy.
- Use bamboo brushes instead of your usual “10 mei se 9 dentists isse recommend karte hai” brushes- unn 9 dentists ko paise mile yeh Bolne ke, and that 1 dentist was sensible enough to know that the brush leaves around more garbage for me to pick around. Also, bamboo brushes have charcoal activated bristles, achi cheezo se allergy hai tumhe?
- Bahar itna pyaara mausam kiya hua hai Meine but nahi! Raat ko 16 pe A/C karke, kambal leke sona hai bhaisaab ne. Thode kam HFCs release honge aur kam power consumption hogi toh saans nahi li jayegi kya tumse? Banda banke windows khol ke so jao. Cross ventilation hogi, thodi hawa lagegi toh shayad thodi akal hi aa jaye.
- You don’t have to spend ₹80 for the Himalayan ka paani or even ₹20 to look cool walking around with your bisleri ki bottle looking like an NRI-return. Carrying your own bottle of water; it looks just as cool. Keeps you just as hydrated and helps me stay sane and sustainable a little longer.
- Also, what is your obsession with those tiny pipes of death? You have a perfectly good mouth, toh drink from it na! And agar nariyal-paani ka mazza sirif straw ke sath aata hai, toh get those metal straws and carry them with you. Why should the turtles in the sea be throttled to death just because your idea of romance is drinking 1 bottle of coke from 2 straws?
- Jab light use nahi use kar rahe hote toh off kar Diya karo! Diwali nahi hai. Neither has UNESCO sent a picture of India looking like a dazzling country covered with shiny rhinestones from outer space. Bijli ka bill tumhari maa deti hai (not with money, but with non-replenishable resources)
- You don’t have to throw away clothes as soon as they are not “trendy enough”. Paise pedh pe nahi lagte, par pedh se bante zarur hai, so go cashless. And donate those clothes or recylce them as a cushion cover or something. Saara din YouTube pe DIY videos dekhte ho, kabhi usse utilise bhi kar liya karo.
- You made plastic, I begrudgedly dealt with it. You finally put it to some good use and make bigger plastic boxes to throw all your plastic waste in and I was glad. BUT THEN YOU GO AROUND AND THROW ALL THE KACHRA OUTSIDE THE BIG PLASTIC BOX!! Andhe ho Kya? Sab Kuch mujhe hi batana padhega? Aur kitni baar batana padega? Nahi, likh ke de do mujhe.
Ans please educate your biological parents about sustainability. Teach them just how bad single-use plastic is for the environment. They might be a bit resistant but if you can convert them, it’s a WIN and you should be proud of yourself ! also, when you see your friends making Eco-friendly choices in their lifestyle, appreciate them. Maybe even talk about it on social media and tell other people so they feel inspired to make an effort.
See bacche, I’m not the enemy here, I only want what is best for you. And the best for you is to live sustainably, make conscious choices, save up on resources that are extinguishable.
Be mindful of me, the fellow humans and all the other species that co-exist with you!