If you haven’t been living under a massive rock, you’d know that Indian stand-up comedians are killing it online, just as hilariously they are killing it on-stage.
Pardon my french, but 2016 was a big pile of horeshit. From Tanmay Bhat’s snapchat issue to surgical strikes, we witnessed the wildest year possible. But it’s these comedians who helped us get through the year, whether it was AIB’s videos or EIC’s constant rants or Biswa’s hilarious tweets, they all made 2016 a lot better for us.
Here’s a list of the funniest tweets by your favorite comedians:
Indian matrimonial ad: Seeking strong independent career driven Indian woman to make Roti
— Sanjay Manaktala (@smanak) August 22, 2016
Fawad Khan is good looking, sure. But so is every sumo driver from Kashmir, who looks just like him.
— Sonali Thakker (@SonaliThakker) August 30, 2016
Don’t worry about your board results, twenty years down the line nobody will care about it.
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) May 21, 2016
Sometimes you try to crank out all ice cubes from the tray and 3 of them hold hands and refuse to budge like “JAYENGE TOH SAB SAATH MEIN”
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) October 4, 2016
The best part about having a gym partner is that when two people miss gym, the guilt cancels out.
— Kenny Sebastian (@knowkenny) May 10, 2016
*doesn’t drop phone for 2 years*
*takes off phone cover for 5 seconds*
*phone falls off bed, rebounds out of window, gets hit by asteroid*
— Azeem Banatwalla (@TheBanat) July 3, 2016
I always thought “Vicco Turmeric, nahi cosmetic” was our national anthem which is why it played before every movie.
— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) November 30, 2016
What is faster than light?
The speed at which Indians unbuckle the seat belt as soon as a plane lands!
— Abish Mathew (@abishmathew) May 16, 2016
What feminists say:’We want equality’
What meninists hear:’Valar Morghulis’
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) July 22, 2016
Girl: Have you ever cheated on a woman you love?
Me: Well I had rajma at my buas house when my mom had made dinner.
— Sanjay Manaktala (@smanak) December 6, 2016
Me at a high fashion event-
Journalist: So Kaneez who are you wearing?
Kaneez: Um, all my insecurities.
— Kaneez Surka (@kaneezsurka) October 4, 2016
Randeep Hooda auditioning for both chairs in Pretentious Movie Reviews. pic.twitter.com/waDFmIApTe
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) February 5, 2016
Friend: bhai tera pet nikal raha hai.
Me: nahi bhai yeh mera #dangal look hai.
— zakir khan (@Zakirism) November 29, 2016
Who called it How I Met Your Mother and not Ted-Ex?
— Rohan (@mojorojo) August 31, 2016
When I say @priyankachopra‘s name in my head I now automatically pronounce it like “Priyaaaanka Chopruh”
— Tanmay Bhat (@thetanmay) July 27, 2016
Nothing in this world is more fought over than how quickly you’ve started the “tik tik 1, tik tik 2…” in a game of Antakshari.
— Abish Mathew (@abishmathew) January 31, 2016
*Going through my contact list*
Dad: Beta, yeh jo Tinder surname waale hai matlab woh kaunsi caste ke hote hai?
— Sonali Thakker (@SonaliThakker) March 26, 2016
Casting Ajay Devgn for the Vimal Pan masala ad is a masterstroke. After all he’s the only actor who looks like he could actually be using it
— Varun Thakur (@VarunmThakur) April 1, 2016
No wonder Salman Bhai’s contract was not renewed by Thums Up. Their new tagline would’ve been too awkward for him pic.twitter.com/KuFFgRvb7e
— Atul Khatri (@one_by_two) November 3, 2016
Priyanka Chopra shows up for a second in the Baywatch trailer.
Indian media: “OMG LOOK AT PC CONQUERING HOLLYWOOD! MOVE OVER ANGELINA!”
— Sapan Verma (@sapanv) December 9, 2016
I know it’s 10 years too late but here. pic.twitter.com/hJ2h8eMJ7H
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) May 12, 2016
Punjabi- We have this great song!
Rest of India- We don’t care.
Bollywood- We will put it in a movie.
Rest of India- OMG! Best song ever!!
— Angad Singh Ranyal (@PiratedSardar) March 25, 2016
Friend : meri Gf mumbai rehti hai. Teri Gf kaha rehti hai?
Me : Bhai meri Gf toh naraz rehti hai 😉
— zakir khan (@Zakirism) May 4, 2016
In Bangalore, they even call a new born child a “Start Up”!
— Abish Mathew (@abishmathew) July 27, 2016
I have only seen people underwhelmed or overwhelmed, never whelmed properly.
— Biswa Kalyan Rath (@kalyanrath) May 7, 2016
For more wisecracks and rants, follow them on Twitter!