A Song Of Sanskars and Hypocrisy
It remains an entertaining muse, to wonder what would happen if the violent and explicit world of Game of Thrones found itself situated in our saffron land, smack dab in the center of the fast pacing and humorously self-conflicted modern day Indian society. From the cheaply graffitied walls of the Sept, to the daunting DU cut-offs which wouldn’t spare even the likes of an Arya Stark, we can safely bet that India would leave its mark on the infamous series, achieving its sweet transition from ‘A Song of Ice and Fire‘ to ‘A Song of Sanskars and Hypocrisy‘. Here are a few things you and I can definitely agree and rofl about:
1) The Wall that defends the seven kingdoms from the Wildlings and White Walkers would have “Yaha Pishab Karna Sakht Mana Hai” etched on it. It would have photos pasted of the Old and the New Gods too, just in case. Sponsored by JK Wall Putty, Dewaare Bol Uthengi.
3) College professor would spend the whole lecture just speaking Daenerys‘ name during attendance. Wouldn’t that be great?
4) Lord Brahma would be the Many Faced God.
5) If a castle in India doesn’t have a “Raju<3 Neha” graffiti, is it really a castle?
6) Everyone would call Tyrion as Chhotu and use same old jokes like “Cersei ko bolo complan pilaaye.”
7) The road direction boards would look something like this.
8) Ramsay would be thrown into a jail for his brutal crimes, but after three days he would get a bail and later become an MP. Surprise, surprise.
9) Even after being Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, the first of her name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the Realm, the Unburnt, Mother of Dragons, Breaker of Chains, Queen of Meereen, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Desi Aunty would ask her “Woh toh theek hai, par aage ka kya plan hai?”
10) During the Purple Wedding, girls would hide Joffrey‘s shoes & later get executed for doing so. Well, of course, if he were alive. But Ramsay could also do that. Oh, wait.
11) If anybody would refuse for a mass bunk in college, they would have to do a Walk Of Atonement. (WE ACTUALLY REALLY NEED THIS SYSTEM IN EVERY COLLEGE)
12) House Stark would turn into House Sharma with their words being “Exams are coming.”
13) Arun Lal would do a live commentary session of Battle of the Bastards and it will go something like, “Jon Snow kalaiyoaur kadmo ka behtereen upyog karte huye, aur ye Ramsay Bolton ki talwaar se bahari kinaara lagte huye. Bahot hi takkar ka battle hote hue .” (If George RR Martin sees this, he will kill me too)
14) Better still, we would have a cricket match between the bastards to settle the Winterfell feud.
15) Drogon would be called “Tuffy” instead. Direwolves would have names like Tommy, Sheru, Pepsi.
16) Iron Bank of Braavos would be called “Iron Bank of India” instead, and it would have thousands of branches across the country.
17) And if we had Mark Gatiss in Iron Bank Of India, he would definitely say something like this:
19) Before the Iron Throne Elections, Targaryen Janta Party would launch a campaign slogan like “Abki Baar Daenerys ki Sarkaar.”
20) Rakshabandhan would be quite an affair for the Lannisters.
21) Desi Aunties would meet White Walkers and tell them “Beta kitne kaale hogye ho, itna dhoop mei mat ghooma karo..”
22) White Walkers would be the brand ambassadors of Fair n Lovely. Setting Impossible beauty standards since ancient times.
23) Tommen would constantly say “tu jaanta nahi mera baap kaun hai!” and cry later because he doesn’t know either.
24) Melisandre would be the brand ambassador of Olay – anti-aging cream.
— Toral Joshi (@toral_joshi) June 25, 2016
25) Beggars at traffic lights would say “Beta, old Gods ke naam pe dede beta. Nahi toh new Gods ke naam pe hi dede beta.”
26) Battle of the Bastards would delayed because of random sleeping cows on the battlefield.
29) Baratheons would be greeted with great hospitality wherever they go in India, because Bharat mei Baratheon ka swagat humesha ache se karte hai.
30) Wun Wun from Game of Thrones would be India’s very own Daya, the door breaker.
We recently made a hilarious Game of Thrones Indian Parody on Youtube: College of Thrones. Check it out!